Stay in bed, jerk

Oh autumn with your soothing fresh air, smooth pattering rainstorms, and breathtaking bright leaves. How your deep oranges, mottled greens, your triumphant yellows streaking across worlds of fading color make us sigh. What majesty to witness the last stage of a summer's life, born on wind full of exotic new smells, transforming into cool grey evenings. We can revel in your chilled arms, skip through puddles left by your shy rain showers, even watch your great spectacles inside by our windows, nursing fragrant warm cups of coffee. And how *Achoo* *Cough cough* ... how .... *SNOrT* *bluuueRRrghhh* how *sniffle* *snrGGgggg huugck-POUGH!*... how you make people sick.

And then people go to school. And to work. And to the mall. And they cough and sneeze and snort and neglect to wash their hands while touching things. Then their friends get sick, and guess what they do?

I love you guys, but I've been sitting in class for about two weeks now listening to a steady drone of noises that only some slime monster from Calvin and Hobbes is supposed to make. All the while the hackers, snifflers, and phlegmers have exposed their schoolmates to a steady stream of infection.

It's no accident that even in a small community like Whitman's, the sickness held by some sliver of our population magically appears in a bigger chunk the next week, and the week after. Illness spreads because someone gets sick, and takes their gross germs with them as a present for their comrades.

Now I get that times can be rough and sometimes it seems like you have to go for a grade. I get that sometimes we can spread whatever junk we picked up over four-day babysitting, walking in the big city, licking doorknobs or whatever without knowing we're sick yet. Going to class while knowing that you are contagious still forces other people to face the same choice. It still may pass your misery onto two, three, four, or even dozens of friends and strangers. Picture a world in which everyone does the responsible thing and self quarantines. Random strains die in a world like this so fast, and we all have a much better situation.

So next time you're feeling awful, wishing to god that you didn't have to get out of bed, and generally hating life outside of your warm room, please, please, please stay there.