Carbon MONOXIDE!

College students everywhere, you are being poisoned! Do you feel constantly tired? Do you feel depressed on occasion? Are you a chronic sufferer apathy and non-motivation? Get headaches? Then, undoubtedly, you are being poisoned by the rarely feared scourge of modern society, carbon monoxide.

A wise man once introduced to the grapevine that Rome was ended in large part due to toxic lead present in their water system. Well we have one upped their error, and have poisoned our air. Carbon monoxide poisoning occurs when a defective utility system ,such as a space heater, (Like the one in your house/dorm?!!) emits carbon monoxide into the air of a household. This gas is colorless, and odorless, and inhibits healthy oxygen uptake, thus bringing about a bevy of undesirable symptoms ranging from drowsiness to death.

This nefarious presence cannot be recognized absent symptoms or bloods tests. Most vexingly, its symptoms overlap in large part with those corresponding to attending college. So... take a good long look at the vent leading in to your room, and wonder, how old exactly is that heater?

In all fairness you probably are not being poisoned, I just think that it is mildly humorous that there is a plausible life threatening condition that actually happens with frequency in the states, but that has the same symptoms as going to college.

Not funny at all? Blame the air in my house.