Today I have fairly awkward story to share with you,
So recently I had the opportunity to go to Switzerland for two weeks. I saw many amazing and unforgettable things there and gained plenty of random tales. One of the more interesting ones involves a Swiss German I met who we will call Hans.
It started in a hostel in Interlaken, a town on two large lakes that contain the runoff from Europe's highest and possibly most gorgeous range of mountains. This hostel was a large affair with beds for over 100, a gaming room, and a full cafeteria. As I was there during tourism off season things were pretty quiet during breakfast on a clear morning day. While I ate near the counter, the resident chef got to talking to me.
He was a blonde haired, blue eyed man who look to be in his late thirties. Standing around five foot eight he was hardly tall, and while physically fit had a slight gut to him, presumably from drinking lots of good Swiss and German beer. His English was heavily accented, but passable, although he frequently could not find the words to express a simple thought. I was struck by how friendly and open he was, talking to me for about forty five minutes about his life in Switzerland and what I should do while there.
As most Americans do, I eventually got tired of talking and wanted to go do something else. As I departed he smiled and said that we should have a beer later. I laughed and said sure. What a nice guy!
So I got back from hiking up to Schilthorn (the site of that 1969 Bond ski chase scene)after about eight hours and go to make myself some dinner in the kitchen basement of the hostel. As I walk down the stairs Hans sees me waves, smiles again, and says he gets off work soon.
I strike up a conversation with a South Korean woman in the kitchen after she asks me if I am American. It happens that I am a pretty big fan of professional Starcraft (That's another story, but it's a crazy big thing in some subcultures of South Korea). She herself had only watched a few matches but thought it was funny that I knew about it. As we talked, I noticed that Hans had migrated downstairs and was now in his street cloths. He was sitting outside of the kitchen using an internet booth and evidently on Facebook. He had not said anything to me when he came downstairs. Kind of strange...
At some point Hans cuts into the conversation by more or less demanding that I help him add me on Facebook. I don't see a way to gracefully decline, and so I provide my contact info. When the South Korean woman leaves later, and I get up to go, Hans asks me if I would like to share a beer outside. Generally I try to accept social invitations and be open to new experiences, so I went along with it. Hans leaves and says to meet him upstairs in a bit.
I go back to my room and accept the Facebook invite. I see that Hans is bisexual and single. Now I am thinking that the man is interested in men and potentially me, but hey, perhaps he is just being friendly, and if nothing else it would be awkward to just leave him standing down in the lobby.
I go downstairs and don't see Hans, then look outside to a large grassy green where one family of tourists sit around a table, and Hans sits 50 fit away alone at another. He has two large beers out.
Sitting down at the table, the fact that my beer as well as his are already open immediately becomes apparent. Slightly concerned now about being drugged based on Hans's erratic behavior earlier, I take the beer closer to him and we discuss life, Switzerland, and the hostel/cooking business for a while. The conversation starts to get strained due to language barrier after about forty minutes. It is then that Hans shifts the subject towards what I am doing later, raising his eyebrows a bit and smiling more. I'm fairly certain of his intentions and trying to think of a way to politely excuse myself when I notice his shirt.
For some reason it had not become apparent earlier in the conversation, but it really is a peculiar shirt. Mostly black with cutoff sleeves, it has a bunch of logo pins attached to it and a picture of a guitar. The pins in tiny, tiny lettering all say "Let's fuck". There is silence for about 45 seconds. Hans continues to smile and winks as he raises his eyebrows again. It seems he has noticed me reading his pins. I tell Hans I am tired and going to bed for hiking tomorrow despite his complaints of it being too early and me being boring/needing to try to have more fun in Switzerland.
I block Hans from Facebook and set my profile to friends of friends only as I wonder how acceptable it is to be bothered by bisexuality. Normally I don't pay very much attention to orientation, but normally I am also not the somewhat blunt target of an alternate perspective. The room down the hall distracts me from this line of thought as I realize that since getting back they have been blaring some dubstep. This same room was cranking dubstep when I left in the morning, and had been doing more or less the same as far as I could tell every day since I arrived at the hostel three days prior. I almost crack up and get out my book to read before bed. Switzerland can be a strange place.
Until next time readers,
Tim
I feel like you handled this wrong. You should have just told him you weren't interested. Im sure he would have understood and gotten over it. No need to block him on facebook. Just a friendly bi-sexual man. Imagine if he had been a girl, you might have a transatlantic relationship right now.
ReplyDeleteI think you're probably right Bo. At the time I was too surprised by the pins, and the already awkward conversation made the situation uncomfortable. It was hard to respond well in that setting.
ReplyDeleteWere a dialog more comfortable I can only assume without having had too many that expressing disinterest and continuing to talk would be fine.
It's a relevant question because most of us will likely find ourselves on the receiving end of interest from gay, bi, or straight colleagues/friends that we don't reciprocate at some point. Those relationships are obviously more important and being able to maintain them through a minor challenge like that should be fungible. If it's not we're doing something wrong.